Monday, February 7, 2011

Question for the Masses

I'm conducting a personal survey.  If you have any feedback on the matter, regardless of if you're male or female, it would be appreciated.

Hypothetical situation that happens to be true:

How would you react if a guy, after a date or two, were to just straight-up say (with complete confidence) "I'm interested in you."  No games, no crap, just pure honesty.  How would that go over?

I ask because I'm getting sick of "the game."  So if you have any feedback on the matter, I'd be interested to hear it.  Good idea?  Bad idea?  Sexy?  Creepy?

Leave a comment.  I'm pretty sure you can leave one even if you're not registered with blogger.  Even if you've never met me and you've happened to just stumble across this blog, feel free to say something.


  1. So. I'm married because I straight up told Peter I wanted to have his babies.
    Yeah...Other stuff happened, but a year and a half later, I still think it was a good idea.
    I think being honest is always a good idea. It clears up where you stand. And if in the future you change your mind you can just say, "I'm not interested in you anymore."

  2. Well, if I liked the guy back, then it would be awesome. And I would say, "Yeah, me too. What now?"
    If I didn't, then it would be awkward for the couple of minutes it would take me to say "I'm not" without sounding like a stuck up bitch.

    I think it's a good idea. But I'm a different type of girl because I never played the game. I was pretty clear on what I wanted and I only ever dated boys who were okay with that.

    However, with my husband, Cody kissed me first and I said "Oh wait, what?" because we never dated before and I had no idea he was interested in me because I don't think he was until about five minutes before he kissed me. But, we kissed and we said, "So are we dating now?" and the answer was yes and then we got married 4 months later....So. Yeah.

  3. I'm a huge advocate of non-games and non-crap. That's what I told Dale right when we started dating. "No matter what, no drama. We're friends first, and games are, well, not fun and don't accomplish much except making everybody unhappy. So none of that." It worked out pretty well. We actually had a policy with our apartment in Lexington: leave your drama outside. Inside, only straight talk, civility and non-games allowed. You can pick up your drama when you leave, but it has to stay outside. And your yucky shoes. None of those in there either. Actually I heard that several friendships were repaired by coming to our house and leaving the crap outside.

    But yeah, I think it would only work on a girl who was less "girl" and more "real person" if you know what I mean. "Girls" like drama, cuz it makes things complicated, which makes nothing their fault, which they like. So, yeah. I think a lot of girls would do well to have their behinds receive a swift and large kick and then give their heads a good talkin' to, maybe it would work to reduce the number of "girls" out there.

  4. I'm fairly certain you already know my views on this. I'm all for saying what is on your mind. The less filters the better. And honestly, if they're scared away by it, then maybe it's a good thing. Who needs that drama.

  5. There will be moments where this would work (and you'll know), but generally speaking, I don't think it's a good idea. Not because I like games or because I dislike honesty, but because it's redundant. You've asked her out a couple of times...she knows you're interested. No need to bang her over the head with it. Not sexy.

    One of the reasons why you might be interested in married women is A) because they're older and more confident in themselves and B) because you have no idea if they're interested in you. They're married and they shouldn't be interested in you, but they might be. It's not blatantly obvious, so it's sexier. I don't think it has anything to do with a's just how human attraction works, and people are intrigued by the unexpected.

    Most guys will make it very obvious when they're into a woman. If I'm seeing a guy and he makes it very clear that he's already interested, then I find myself feeling that because he already likes me and I'm not sure how I feel about him yet, it will be awkward to call back or see him again ( I won't). However, if I'm seeing a guy and we have a good time together but he gives me plenty of space and doesn't make it blindingly obvious that I'm The One He's Interested In, then I'll probably end up thinking of him more and scheming up fantasies about his mysterious ways. It will make me want to call him back or go out with him again because it's unexpected and because I have been given enough time to decide how I feel about him and to spend time with him without the pressure of "he's interested, so you'd better hurry up and decide if you like him or not."

    I recently read a study about women who were presented with the facebook profiles of guys and were told that some of the guys were interested in them (even if they actually weren't). The women ended up spending twice as long studying the profiles of the guys who they were told were NOT interested in them. The bottom line? Women are more intrigued when they're not instantly told the guy is into them.

    My two cents :)