Saturday, January 22, 2011

Things that start with "victor"


Well the moment came.  Just like I predicted.  I'm sitting playing games on my computer last night (because I figured out how to emulate Gamecube games, so I've been doing that all weekend), and I get a text from an unknown number.  It said, "Heyyy"  It was obviously from a friend, but I most likely lost their number when I reset my phone.  I didn't want them to know that I didn't know who it was, so I just went along with what a standard conversation looks like:

THEM:  Heyyy
ME:  Hey. What's up?
THEM:  Nothin much.  Just chillin at mi casa.  You?
ME:  Writing a song.  (I was actually playing video games, but I hate admitting that to people)
THEM:  That's cool. what about??  (I don't know why people use two ?s when one gets the job done just fine)
ME:  It's a song that Victoria and I started writing last week about 2 people keeping each other warm.
THEM:  Sweet.  Sounds pretty cool. lol

I finally figured that they weren't going to give me any hints as to who they were, so I just straight up asked.

ME:  I don't mean to be rude or anything, but who is this?

And here we go.  The golden moment:

THEM:  Sarah [last name]... jerk

BAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  The moment came far sooner than I thought it would.  I got to do the "who is this?" text!  I might be childish and mean, but it's nice to finally do that to someone.  I've had it done to me before and I couldn't wait to unleash it on someone else from the very first time it happened.

Btw, I knew exactly who it was because it was a 712 number and google told me that was the area code for Sioux City, which is where she's from.  I'm an ass.

Anyway, the conversation was small talk until she said she had a question for me.  Then she asked if we were friends because she couldn't tell.  In my mind I thought "No" but I said "I dunno. What does being friends mean?"  She never answered the question.  Instead she was just like "I'll leave you alone now" but I really wanted to know what she thought being friends meant.

If by "being friends" she means saying hi to each other as we pass each other on the sidewalk, then sure.  We can be friends.  If she means hanging out for an extended period of time in close proximity, then no.  We can't be friends.  We don't run in the same social circle, so we can't be friends by association.  You know those people that hang out with you in the same group of people, but you'd never call them up and hang out with them alone?  Yeah.  We can't do that because we don't have the same friends.

I'll go ahead and admit, if she were to be like, "Hey, I'm really sorry.  I didn't pay any attention to you and I'll fix that.  Can we date again?"  I'd probably say yes.  I really liked her, but things just never got moving.

Anyway, she never answered me on the "what being friends means" question, so I just went ahead and explained my thoughts on the situation:

"I guess I'll just go ahead and explain my side.  You said that I expected your life to be centered around me, but that's not true.  I would have been happy with just a piece.  You never had time to hang out with me anymore but you always had time to hang out with Yiselle or Jessie.  I never really asked for more than what you gave them.  If you and I did hang out, it was only for like an hour.  We stopped talking about stuff.  I would come over and you'd play on your computer or talk about harry potter.  We started out as good friends and then you just sort of stopped.  Even if we ignore that we liked each other, you were kind of a crappy friend.  If that'll change, then sure, we can be friends.  If not, then I'd rather not bother.  Up to you."

A little strong, I know, but I think I presented my thoughts pretty well for a text message.  She got a little defensive and I don't blame her; I made a pretty direct statement and she's 19, so she acted like she was 19.

I'm not good at being friends with people after I break up with them.  My experience has been that I always end up hooking up with them again and then regretting it.  I can't think of a single example where I've stayed friends with an ex outside of the occasional text saying "happy birthday" or something like that.  I just can't do it.  I don't suddenly stop caring about the person, and being around them without being with them is way more emotional stress than I really want to deal with.

I don't know if this is how it is with other people, but after I stop dating someone, that fascination that I had with them never really goes away.  You know?  That feeling that you got when you looked at them?  Sure, it dies down a little, but it never totally fades.

Anyway, we ended our conversation when I said that I didn't like discussing serious things over texting and asked her if we could talk in person.  She said yes.  I asked when.  She said sometime this weekend.  I don't intend on texting her to figure out when and I know her well enough to know that she won't do it either.

From what I can tell, she's dating another guy.  He and her were cuddling up to each other at the basketball game today (who cuddles at a basketball game?  that's the time to yell at stuff!).  I really like the guy; he's a good kid and I think he'll take good care of her.  I don't want to stress him out with being around her; especially when she's saying that she misses talking to me and stuff.  If I didn't like him, then I wouldn't care, but I do like him.  The world needs more respect.

So basically, the whole thing felt like a victory to me.  I got to do the "who is this?" text and I told her what I thought of her friendship.  And it's true, we were great friends at first (as well as pretty romantic) and then she was a really crappy friend.  If it can go back to the good friend part, then great.  If not, then I'm not even gonna bother.

And speaking of things that start with "victor", I just invited Victoria to the Shenanigans movie night tonight.  That's a big deal.  That's the equivalent of meeting someone's family.

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