So yesterday, I set out to put together a mix CD for Lauren (the girl from Accidental Date). We were going to go on a walk, but then she wasn't feeling well, so then I wanted to do something nice for her. Anyway, that project slowly turned into me putting together a pretty lengthy soundtrack to my life. Like, if I gave this to her, it would be like 3 CDs long. Presenting the soundtrack of your life to someone that you've only been on like two dates with is a little strange - especially if it's a multi-CD deal. That's a little weird, so I decided to blog about it instead.
I'm in an unbelievably sentimental mood right now - heads up. If you have time, read and listen!
I like music. I like music that speaks to me. I like music that has powerful memories attached to it. These songs have some deep meaning to me that I can't quite convey in written form over the internet. These are the kinds of songs that I would listen to with someone and tell them all the stories from my past and hold nothing back and stuff. Unfortunately, I don't really have any friends that I can just sit with and talk about anything and not risk judgment. I used to have friends like that, but they're either on a mission, married, or dead. It's something that I really miss - being able to talk to someone about literally anything without them judging me or thinking I'm weird or whatever.
Anyway - I present you with The Soundtrack To Brandon's Life (I hope you like punk rock). A lot of these songs are going to have links to the actual music.
1. I Believe In a Thing Called Love - The Darkness
This is basically my theme song. It's also the theme song of my car, Kuto.
I'm always in the mood to listen to it. I only have good memories attached to it, and as sappy as it sounds, I really do believe in a thing called love. I'm scared of it and do things to purposefully sabotage it for myself, but I still believe in it. I don't have any specific memories attached to this song. If you want to impress me, reference this song at some point during a conversation.
2. Booty Call - G. Love
This song reminds me of summer of 2009. I was at BYU and was having a little bit of a "makeout overlap" (when you're on the way out of one booty call relationship and into another with no clear endpoint or starting point) with Crazy (a post about her is coming soon) and Jamie. Crazy's and my relationship was basically one big booty call. We tried the relationship thing but we had no idea what we were doing, so it always just devolved into a booty call. Same thing with Jamie (until things took a weird bounce a few weeks in).
I technically wasn't cheating, but I cut it pretty close (by seriously breaking up with Crazy like 8 minutes before starting things up with Jamie).
Also, I love the grin that G. Love does around 1:06 into the video. That grin basically sums up a booty call.
3. Cool Kids - Screeching Weasel
This song has all kinds of hidden meaning behind it. One of them is a commentary on political parties. The other is how dumb cliques are in school. I was one of the cool kids in high school. I was a pretty big jerk to people, but I was a likable jerk. It's hard to describe. I was pretty much friends with everyone, but I was pretty selfish about my relationships with people. That bled into my adult life as well. I like this song because a) I think it's funny and b) it reminds me to not be an ass to people.
4. San Dimas High School Football Rules - The Ataris
I guess I could say that this is the theme song to my high school years. Everyone at school knew it and listened to it. On top of that, I have a pretty good memory attached to it.
Lots of people don't know this about me, but I was in a performing group for a few years in high school. It was called Young Performer's Company. We'd travel around the state (California) and sing and dance and put on plays and stuff. It was a lot of fun. I think there were like 11 or 12 of us (3 guys, the rest girls) and we were all really really close friends. All kinds of weird relationships and hookups took place (that's kind of what happens when you put a group of talented and good-looking teenagers in close quarters for days at a time). Of the 8 or 9 girls, I know that I made out with at least 6 of them (one of them was like 9 years old, so that throws off my numbers a little).
One performance we did was at Disneyland. We were all in a hotel (if I gave you time to think about it, I'm sure you could figure out how this story ends). There was one girl that I really liked; for fear of her reading this and hunting me down (things didn't end on the best note), we'll call her Liz. Liz had a boyfriend. At the time this story took place, she and her boyfriend had been together for a little over a year. I think they're married now.
Liz and I snuck out of the the hotel during our Disneyland trip and did a "night on the town" in Anaheim. With extensive use of fake IDs and some guy's credit card that I stole from a bar, we reenacted a pretty large chunk of this song. It was one of the better nights of my life, and San Dimas High School Football Rules really, REALLY reminds me of that night. Liz and I never actually dated and we never really told our friends about that night.
5. Lately - The Ataris
This song pretty much describes why I hate relationships so much. I mean, I don't hate them. I just hate all the crap that comes along with them... which I guess every relationship has, so I guess it's safe to say that I hate relationships; my experience has been that they're way more painful than they're worth. In some relationships I feel constantly insecure and jealous, and in others things are perfectly fine and then BAM, something goes wrong. There never seems to be that mutual point of equilibrium where both people are perfectly happy and satisfied with the state of things. I can only think of one relationship where things felt like that, and it was with Emily when I was 17. I wish I knew and recognized what love was at that age...
This song reminds me of all the frustrations that come along with relationships. I feel like I should listen to this song before every date (instead of listening to I Believe in a Thing Called love). It'd do a better job of preparing me for the night...
6. Dammit - Blink-182
The chorus of this song is really what does it for me. "And it'll happen once again / you'll turn to a friend / someone that understands / sees through the master plan..."
I had a friend growing up named Carly and I always thought of her when I heard this song. Carly and I dated on and off throughout high school. Several years later, Carly accused me of date rape (not guilty) and basically destroyed my life for several years. But in the time that we were actually friends and before she went psycho, we were really close friends - she just always seemed to "get it". We were able to talk about anything without fear of judgment. I miss that. But not with her. Because she's psycho now.
7. Adam's Song - Blink-182
My best friend committed suicide a year and a half ago (Valentine's Day of 2010 at around 4:30am - I'm the one that got the phone call from the police) after his girlfriend broke up with him (that's the super short version of the story). I have no idea how to describe the pain and confusion surrounding the whole thing. It really does make me feel sick when I think about it. Whenever I mention it to someone, I always play it off like I'm perfectly fine, but it still eats at me on the inside. It's something that I haven't really talked about with anyone. I made a blog post about it once, but I'm pretty sure I deleted it. I spent several months absolutely depressed and bad ideas started to sound like good ideas. This song reminds me of his feelings leading up to it as well as my feelings following it. When I miss him late at night (like last night), I put on my headphones and, in tears, play this song on the piano. I miss him.
8. Smack That - Akon
I know this one sounds totally out of place (following a bunch of punk rock songs), but I absolutely love this song. I probably shouldn't go into too much detail on the memories attached to this song... I do remember that one of my mission friends, a Dominican named Volquez, would always sing this song in English. It was hilarious.
9. No Woman No Cry - Xavier Rudd (Originally by Bob Marley)
The actual song starts at 1:15, so just skip to there. On top of me loving how Xavier plays the guitar, this song reminds me of a friend at BYU that we will call "Hottest Girl That Brandon Has Ever Been With (or HGTBHEBW for short)". HGTBHEBW and I would go out late at night, listen to reggae, and talk (and stuff). It's the kind of memory I think back on and smile every time - we'd watch shooting stars and talk about anything. Plus she was extremely hot. I can't even put it into words how hot she was. Seriously. My heart still picks up a little when I think of her.
10. Jailer - Asa
The actual song starts at 0:35. I often talk and joke about how I used to be insane (haha). Yeah, it's funny, but it's also true. I was nucking futz towards the end of 2008. This is one of the songs that I listened to a lot during that time. I guess the idea of being a prisoner in my own body really stood out to me.
11. Let Me Go - The Belleville Outfit
There is no official music video and you can't find the lyrics online. About a year after my best friend died, I was still pretty down and depressed about it. I decided randomly to go to a concert - I didn't care which one. So I randomly looked online for nearby concerts, chose one, and went by myself. The Belleville Outfit played, and they were incredible. Easily the best live show I've ever seen. I came out of that concert feeling different. I don't know why, but I see that moment as a major turning point in my life. The chorus really speaks to me "And I'd thank the Lord everyday / but he probably wouldn't listen / wouldn't care anyway / let the curtain fall, that's the end of the show / let me go". I really feel like that sometimes.
Plus the girl in the group is smokin' hot.
12. Light of Other Days - Benjy Davis Project
Ignore the family montage music video thingy. I chose that video because it's the highest quality recording. Aside from Benjy Davis being one of the best songwriters I've ever met, this song reminds me of Fall and I love Fall. Plus every time I hear the opening line, I always think "I wonder what that means" and then I try to figure it out. I really should just ask him, but it's more fun to think about it.
13. United States of Whatever - Liam Lynch
This is what happens when you give an idiot a guitar, a microphone, and some meth. I love it. I chose this song first because it's funny, but I also have a great memory attached to it. When I was 17, I dated a girl named Emily. Emily was by far the best girlfriend I ever had. If we were older, things would have definitely worked out well. She worked at the grocery store on the other side of the city and I would always drive over there (past lots of other grocery stores) to buy Poptarts just so I could run into her and talk to her. One night, she was on her break. We climbed into her car (yea buddy!) and I remember this song playing over the radio. We sat and laughed for a good 5 minutes afterwards.
14. Prototype - Size 14
For the life of me, I can't find a good recording of this song. You can listen to most of it in the iTunes store (which I very strongly suggest you do). It's about a guy who can get any girl he wants and they call him The Prototype. My best friend, after hearing this song, sometimes called me Prototype because he was always impressed with my ability to charm girls. I've definitely laid off the charm in the last few years. I just don't have nearly as much interest in being The Prototype since Sara 1.0.
15. Walkie Talkie Man - Steriogram
This song cracks me up! I've been listening to it for like 6 years, and I still have no idea what he's saying. If you want to put me in a good mood, put this one on. I remember my cousin showing it to me (probably thinking I'd really like it) and I rolled on the floor laughing (rofl'd, for all my internet homies) the whole way through. I don't know what it's about, but it holds a special place in my heart as being "that one song that always makes me laugh".
TO BE CONTINUED...