Thursday, January 6, 2011

Home

Today I fly back to Virginia.  I went to update my Facebook status and say "Headed..." but then I didn't know what to put there.  Home?  Back to school?  To Virginia?

For some reason it was a difficult decision.  It got me wondering: Where do I say home is?

I grew up in Oakland California (just outside, but when I say Walnut Creek, people don't know where that is).  I spent 18 years here (I'm currently in the Oakland airport).  I don't really miss it.  I grew up with a pretty solid group of people.  Each and every person in my high school graduating class was destined for success.  That's just how it was.  I never thought much of it until my teachers started saying that our senior class was amazing.  Then I went to school and heard other people talk about their senior classes and they sounded pathetic.

Not only were we all destined for success, we were all very good looking.  That's not a joke.  I've had friends flip through my yearbook and they always comment on how good looking everyone is.  I think back on it and they're right.  Even the most obscure person that sits in the back of the classroom was pretty good-looking.

So then I move away from California.  First, I move to Utah.  I hate living in Utah.  It just isn't my place.  I'd like to say that I can understand how a person could like that place, but i really can't.  It sucks.  I don't like the huge mountains or the desert or anything about it.  I lived in Utah for a year, and then moved to Virginia for school.  I love Virginia.  Then I moved back to California for almost a year.  Then I moved to the Dominican Republic for a year.  Then my family moved from California to Utah.  Then I moved from the Dominican Republic to Utah.  I stayed in Utah for a little over a year.  Now I live in Virginia.

So you can understand the confusion.  I would say that California is my home, but my family doesn't live there (here?).  I haven't really kept in contact with my friends from high school outside of being their Facebook friends and hiding their status updates from my front page thingy.  I don't like Utah, but that's where my family is.  At the same time, I can't call Utah home because I didn't grow up there and because I'm 25 which makes me think that I'm a little old to call wherever my family moves home.

Out of all the places I've lived, my favorite is where I live in Virginia.  But if I call Virginia my home, I'm afraid of offending my mother because I have a history of being unknowingly insensitive, so now I compensate by being overly sensitive.  Plus I didn't grow up here and my family doesn't live here.  Bah.  Confusing.

In reality, Virginia really is my home.  I have nothing to return to in California (besides my nieces), I don't like Utah and I didn't grow up there, and the Dominican Republic doesn't count because that place was a total and complete nightmare that I wouldn't wish upon even its residents.

But yeah... That's what I thought when I went to update my Facebook status.  I settled by just saying "Airplane."

1 comment:

  1. I have a similar dilemma when people ask where I'm "from"... Do they mean most recently? Or where I identify most with? Or what my ethnic background is? I'm never really sure, so I have this long involved answer down pat that I can recite in under a minute(I've never timed myself...)Home I guess will be wherever my husband and I are living. But at the same time I say home and think VA. I guess the visual I get is my current apartment somewhere in BV. Which is heaven and hell all at the same time.

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