Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Adoption

Living in a strong religious community has its drawbacks.  Aside from not being able to date a girl with tattoos and piercings everywhere (mmm... love those sooo much), there isn't a lot of variance in ideas.  People are afraid of outside ideas.

I was recently talking with someone about homosexuals adopting children.  Well, I guess she was talking to me about it.  There was a group of people listening, but she was mainly the one speaking and I was mainly the one listening.  I just sat and listened quietly because I knew my views would absolutely violate everything she and everyone else in the group thought they stood for.

Probably the strongest points that were made were religious.  Being a mormon, she believes that families remain together after death.  In order to do that, a ritual must be done which then allows this to happen.  The ritual must have a father and a mother, and then children if there are any.  The children are allowed to be adopted.  But the parents have to be opposite genders.  This is why mormons are so strongly against gay marriage.  They believe that ultimate happiness comes from being with one's family for eternity.  It's an idea that sucks if you hate your family, but for the most part, I find it comforting.

Anyway, she said that homosexuals adopting children prevents children from having a family that they could be with forever because two people of the same gender can't go through the ritual together.  However, these are children that most likely won't be finding families.  These are children that belong to the state, and as far as I know, there is no room in the ritual for a government.  So yes, the ideal situation would be that kids go into traditional families with good parents and things go from there, but the sad reality is that they don't.  If every mormon couple adopted a baby, then the problem would be solved.  But that isn't happening.

She also argued that children are negatively impacted by growing up with two fathers or two mothers because of the lack of exposure to the other gender.  At the time, I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure if that was true or not.

If it were true, then of course we wouldn't want to be placing children into harmful situations.

I looked into it.

Out of the 12 studies I've read, 10 say that there is no measurable effect on a child in any way (this also means that the child is not influenced to be homosexual or heterosexual).  One of the two that reported that there was a negative impact was Fox News, which is notoriously biased and not reliable, and they said that the kids were more likely to be bullied at school.  So no, it doesn't appear that children are negatively impacted by having two parents of the same gender.  Children that have two parents that work are more negatively impacted by that than by having two homosexual parents.  And guess what!  In order to adopt, constant care must be proven, which means there's always a parent nearby.

Those were the stronger arguments that she gave.  One was a religious view that was only partially explored, and the other was an assumption that happens to be incorrect.  Now for my ideas:

I don't see homosexuals adopting children as the problem.  I think our animosity is misplaced.  Where are these children coming from?  Irresponsible heterosexual couples that couldn't keep it in their pants, couldn't keep the child, or had their child taken away.  So now we have all these children with no one to love them or take care of them.

When you look at it from that angle, homosexuals are the solution, not the problem.  These are good people trying to do good things.  Is it the ideal solution?  From a religious standpoint, no.  Is it the best solution we currently have?  I would say yes.  As long as they meet all of the standards set out by the adoption agencies, these are good people to be raising children.

I can promise you that not a single one of those children was abandoned by a homosexual.

Our animosity is misplaced.  It shouldn't be directed towards the people trying to solve the problem.  It should be directed at the irresponsible or selfish heterosexual couples that are creating the problem.

2 comments:

  1. So how would this person feel about homosexuals and surrogacy/IVF/sperm donors, etc? Is it just that gay people don't get to have kids?

    ReplyDelete
  2. We didn't really talk about that. It was all just focused on adoption.

    ReplyDelete